Dining out is a rare occurrence for my family and I. This is because of my sister, duh. My sister gets anxious in crowds and has sensory deprivation. I think it is fair to say it is very common for a normal family to eat out, perhaps an expectation. The frequency of us eating out is about maybe once every six months. If you have a child similar to my sister, you could probably relate. So, take -out has been the primary way we get food from restaurants. Whenever we do decide to eat out, however, it is like rolling a dice. We do not know if my sister will make a scene, start crying/screaming, or be well-behaved. The number one rule is we cater to my sister. It does not matter if we are not finished if she is uncomfortable, we leave. This has made dining out redundant and less enjoyable.
The main problem for my brother and I is not that we don’t get to eat our food (we could just ask to take it home), instead, it is the embarrassment. I think it is pretty simple. When people don’t understand something, they tend to stare, to think less of it, and to not give it respect it is entitled to. People do not understand my sister. All they see is a little girl, making a fuss. Now for my brother and I, this is the embarrassing part; we know exactly what they are thinking, we feel their stares, and that is enough for us to not want to go out. Now it may seem shallow for someone on the outside, you kind of have to experience it to understand it. Although, that is no excuse.
Both my brother and I have to learn to take it. It is hard. It is something that I am still having trouble with. And that is the main challenge for siblings I believe. It is the challenge of looking past the embarrassment and rising above it because at the end of the day you are one of the few that understand your autistic sibling. You have to both realize and accept that your situation is different, and that sacrifice is necessary.
Autism Aid 